Just Another Countdown

I wonder how my parents really felt on that day that I was born.

On a very early Sunday morning of the 17th of August, in one rented house, I was born. Third in order, first-born girl in a family of six siblings.

Today didn't go as planned, we were supposed to have dinner someplace but I opted to have it cancelled due to the inclement weather. I pictured it to be a great family gathering, my older brother arrived from Abu Dhabi for a 1-week vacation, and my other siblings work within the vicinity, my parents, my cousin and my tito and tita would all be there. None of that happened. Just because I am scared that we will all be stranded at the mall if ever the heavy rains fall.

I just decided to buy take-out from a famous Chinese restaurant with which my mother loves the nanking beef and the stir-fried noodles. Kuya met me at the mall, saying that he needed to buy something for Papa’s printer. He also offered to buy me a birthday present which I accepted without any second thoughts. I chose a good pair of sneakers I can wear in school and during my early morning walks to school. I’m so excited to wear it tomorrow. I hope the rain would stop! Hahaha

Thirty and Still Adulting

This would have been the title of my epic 30th birthday post. I wasn't really able to complete it as it is. I most likely didn't take time to sit down and reflect on things. Until this moment. My 20s had been phenomenal. A lot has happened with my career path and priorities in life. During my early 20s, all I wanted was to earn a lot of money so I can help my parents send my younger siblings to school, pay bills at home and get to travel on the side. Come mid-20s, I fell in love and just when I had pictured myself to be married and all, my heart got broken. That was a great turning point in my life. I had to slow down and take a deeper look at what are those important things in my life—family, self-respect, self-worth, redemption, forgiveness, faith, ambition, future.

I have done so many things that I am not proud of and I probably would still be doing some of it in the future, I really hope not the same ones though. Every day, it’s a struggle to prove one’s worth. I sometimes even question myself if I am really doing things the right way.

One thing I can never stop doing will be to expect.

I expect that today’s actions will mold me to whom I want to be in the future.
I expect that some day, I can build a house for my parents.
I expect that one day, a prince will sweep me off my feet and save me from this loneliness.

With so much expectations, I expect that I will get hurt. A lot of times. Many times than I expect.

I’ve learned to live with it for the past 29 years, I don’t think that can change in the coming years. Looking at the other side of expectations, I had accomplished so many other things, I’ve learned a lot in life and it continually fuels me to dream. Dream more. Then do more than dream.

I wonder how my 30s will look like. Will still be able to write about it? Would I want to write about it? Will I be able to reach my dreams? Will I have a story to share? Will I get to inspire others?

Tomorrow, the 17th of August will be an ordinary day. Another 24 hours that will come and end. Just like the other days when I continue to expect and try to keep up with.


  1. Happy Birthday!

    You sound accomplished at your age. Once you hit 30, things will only get better from there. You're wiser and much better with dealing with all the challenges that will come your way.

    Again, happy, happy birthday!


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