This is my own 500 Days of Summer.
I would like to think that I am Summer and you are Tom.
But in our 500DOS, I didnt't leave you hanging because I fell in love with another man. I had just grown tired trying to define whatever we used to have. Afterall, relationships are messy. You didn't ran after me because you have either other girls waiting or priorities that doesn't include me in it.
Our 500DOS ended when I asked the question what are we and I never got an answer, only silence. My mistake was, maybe our story wasn't suppose to be for a 500 days, it's probably for another thousand days? How would I know? I became impatient and that had ended what I used to see as a ray of hope, a piece of sunshine on a daily basis.
Your mistake was maybe you should have talked and said that one word, "Wait." That would have made a difference. Just that one word and my restlessness, hopelessness and impatience would have dwindled down. I would put that in my mind, my pocket, my station, my book as a reminder. I'll wait for you.
In our 500DOS, we never kissed just yet. Never held hands. Just a few, countable friendly hugs and conversations that involve our families, dreams and anything under the sun. But in my mind, I dream of holding your face with my palms as I kiss you on the lips before I turn my back and end that wonderful day with you in the park. Or maybe hold that abs, or us exploring each others' body up to that world where only the two of us can take each other to.
In our 500DOS it is me who blindedly ask the question and not you. Only to be trapped in silence. You leaving across the shores without assurance if you still wanna spend more summers with me or it's over. I would like to take your silence as a period of reckoning of how our very of 500DOS, that maybe one day, like Summer and Tom, we will sit at that bench in the park side by side, you will hold my hand and tell me, "Thank you for waiting for me."
11 September 2015