Dear future boyfriend,

Sobrang pagod ako today, pero dahil ayokong ma-BV, inisip ko na lang yung mga gagawin natin in the future. Eto yung nakakaiyak na pagod. As in. You can only imagine. Hayst. Wag na nga, baka ma-BV ka din. Pag nabasa mo to in the future, malamang eh na-share ko na to sayong blogpage at yun na yung today natin! Hahaha

Eto ang mga gagawin natin kapag dumating ka na sa buhay ko:

1. Wine and Cheese Picnic

2. Read.

3. Sleep.

4. Cook for me.

5. Share.

6. Jog.

7. Climb a mountain.

8. Go to church.

9. Fambam.

10. More Sleep. Pagod ako eh :(


Di ko na pagsasabayin ang gumawa ng assignment at mag-work at the same time. Promise. Di kinaya ng brainwaves ko. Natapos ko naman yung assignment ko para maka-gimik ako later. Pero di ko na to uulitin. Promise, Books Before Berks/Boys na talaga until maka-graduate. One year na lang to oh!

Gawin ko na nga tong series! #DFB Hahaha



Rest vs Escape

I was a total wreck last night. It was a weekend I had been looking forward to but the universe had other plans for it not aligned with that of mine.

Anxiety Attack

Nesting period at work is something I am not taking lightly. It took me four years to get in and I only have 8 weeks to prove I am worth the post. Though I knew that this looks like a dead-end job, I still took it. I would like to see it as my comfort zone. Even finding a comfort zone is a tedious task.

My lolo, my uncle, my tita's father, another tita's father and my uncle's wife, they recently all passed away either by sickness or of old age.

School has been stressful as well. What I thought of as easy-breezy study courses turned out to be very very difficult. More than reading, it's the processing of all the information that really chewed up all my brain energy. I should have dropped these subjects or quit just like what I did with that course from another university. 

Looking forward to an escape for the weekend didn't go as planned because of the typhoon hitting the northern Luzon area. 

No Escape

All I really wanted was to escape, even just for a little while. The truth is, there is no escape at all.

There is no escape from mistake at work no matter how I try my best to get a score of a 100% on quality.

There is no escape from failing marks because I study to learn and because I know nothing.

There is no escape from disappointment because my plans are sometimes not God’s plan for me.

I needed rest not escape.

Shutting off from all the stressors won’t help me appreciate the good that comes after the storm. There is no escape after all. Once I come back from a getaway, the stressors would still be there. Sometimes, it had gotten worse.

Other Side of It All

Mistakes at nesting period should be taken as a period for mistakes and improvement.

Their deaths should be seen as the completion of their journey—they did not die young, they lived their lives well.
Pressure in school should be seen as a challenge. It is a place ti admit that I know nothing and I am willing to learn

Finally, there are reasons why things do go as planned. He probably did it in purpose to remind me to take it slow and stop running away when the going gets tougher than I can imagine.

Another  Day

After a sound sleep and waking up to the pitter-patter of the raindrops on the roof, I felt calmer. It is another day . Sitting down in front of my study table at home, made me see the books seeking my attention and waiting to be read. Prepping breakfast without rushing lead to a perfectly-cooked rice, something I had always been on struggle with. Greeting everyone good morning and then having lengthy conversations over breakfast. Then, walking back to my little safe space to reflect on how am I doing.

I felt calmer. The thought of the vanilla ice cream on the fridge made me smile. No need to brave the storm for a happy food. The thought of having time to reflect on my actions and decisions the past few days makes me grateful, especially for those that didn’t go as planned.

I needed this rest.

God wanted me to see things the way He had it planned for me—in His perfect time,

Lord, you think next weekend would be perfect to getaway? I promise, no more escape plans moving forward. 

Rain On My Upcoming Parade

Just when I thought I had everything planned out for the weekend, LandoPH arrived and will be staying until early next week as per forecast.

Aside from the work part of the day getting back into a more normal and steady state, none of the things ended as planned and I wanna go out and eat ramen, go to a bar take maybe four shots of Petrol then sip lemon and salt on the side then dance night out. In short, I wanna hashtag walwal. Not a good idea.

Let me just savor this pending staycation ahead.

Eversince, weekend had always been a busy and occupied either by a leisurely activity, chores or simply rest. Yes, there are weekends that I solely dedicate for rest like my brain has been programmed that Saturday and Sunday will be for rest eventhough it's just Wednesday.

The cancelled getaway trip for tomorrow is supposed to be my much-awaited visit to the famous Las Casas Filipinas de Acuzar. I had been pushing myself to study hard on free hours in the weekdays because I will be missing those things.

I had prepared a Daytrip itinerary which I shared with a friend who was supposed to be my company for the trip and it would have been our first out of town trip together. Hayst. Deep sigh. I thought my plan of having a photographer with me had been swift, easy and free. Lol.

No midterm. No LasCasas. No HK. No walwal. Why universe?

I'm really sad and disappointed and stressed but I wanna convince myself to look at things at a positive side of it all.

Maybe the HK Trip didn't push through because I am not yet financially prepared for it.

Maybe the Las Casas trip didn't go through because I had set it as a reward for myself for completing midterms however, midterm did push through as well.

Maybe the Las Casas trip didn't go through because my real desire was to stay there overnight watch the sunset and sunrise and that's not the itinerary I prepared for.

Maybe midterm didn't push through because I am still missing a few pointers to study and I would need to look it up. 

Maybe, I just need to sit still because I'm still mourning. Getting away is not what I need. I don't know. I'm tired thinking.

Maybe, it's just not really the right time for all these things I have in mind. It will come. It will come. In God's perfect time.

Well, there's always a back-up plan that could come up.

I superduper badly need a hug right now. 

posted from Bloggeroid

Book in the Bag

I always carry a book in my bag. Not that I would be able to read it as assumed but I just find it a good way to spend time while travelling, waiting or just spending time alone and/or in silence. I have a growing collection of epubs in my tablet that's easier to carry around but I still prefer the real thing. Something I could flip pages, hear the slow scratching of pages with each other, the dog ear folds I make whenever I fail to bring along a bookmark with it. 

It had been a little while that I had finished reading a book in one-sitting. Times had changed but the love for flipping pages just keeps burning. 

My sweet escape. The thing that makes me feel not alone when I am all alone. 

This week's book in the bag pick: 

How about you? What's this week's pick for you? 


Dear Future Boyfriend,

San ka na? 

May bagong season na naman ng The Walking Dead! Andami ko nang na-miss kasi antagal mo :( *sniff sniff*